Relationships and Social Media

Tuesday night, I headed over to KPCC’s Crawford Family Forum for a talk titled Relationships in the Age of Social Media. I’ve debated whether to write about this evening or not but since this has been on my mind the last few days, I guess it’s of interest. The night was recorded and should be posted on KPCC’s site if you’re so inclined.

The night was not what I expected. I’ve been to a few other evenings at the Crawford Family Forum and they have been informative and thought provoking. Tuesday’s talk took way too long to become anything close to other visits. Blog Editor Tony Pierce moderated guest panelists Alie Ward and Amanda Lewis. He opened with a sophomoric question of relationships and making them “Facebook official”--when does one change their status from single to in a relationship? Alie Ward responded that we all have now elevated ourselves to public figures and joked that “it’s complicated”. It became apparent that Alie Ward had bought into the whole Los Angeles/ Hollywood thing and talked more about herself, joking that she should be on the couch rather than creating an interesting dialog on what social networking means to relationships.

All three on the panel talked of personal experiences of editing photos, untagging and Ms. Lewis confessed to making a list of people who could view relationship status so her man in the relationship would feel ok with it and the rest of her friends wouldn’t see her change in status.

I know of one fellow blogger who wrote and posted of her changing her profile and announcing that she and her were “separated”. I haven’t had to cross that bridge but for a person of my generation that embraces social media, I still feel that I have a lot a privacy-that no one can really “cyber stalk” me and get a background check of me before we go out. I look at social media as my dinner party of 400 (on FB) and that I really don’t say or post anything that I wouldn’t say at the dinner table. (shocking to some of what I will say!) As far as relationship status on FB the panel felt it was shady and “keeping your options open” by keeping your status as single, but I feel the status is similar to the boxes on a written form and I have never seen “in a relationship” box so I will stay single on FB until I get married.

Unlike myself, one member of the audience likened Facebook to a class reunion where he wanted to share a lot on the newsfeed to create “fb envy or fb revenge”. Later in the discussion, the talk went to a place where I expected it to start, in talking about how teens use Facebook and will not start fights at school but head home and get on the computer to start maliciousness--often trying to soften the blows with an “lol” or a “jk” at the end of a terrible statement. That then segued into Tony Pierce asking about text fights. fighting over texts, and mentioned a friend of his liked to argue over g-chat, thinking that both parties would have a moment to think before they wrote or sent anything which IS interesting since she then has it “off the record” so it’s expunged after the argument is over.

After it came up that twitter was just about PR and that it could be a labyrinth of feeds, I argued that I have met more interesting people through twitter and that most on twitter are very active about meeting in reality with tweetups. They agreed that yes there are as well as tumblr meet-ups (which I have yet to experience). It does come down to device assisted communication versus interpersonal communication and how the lines have blurred, just like time bending in that if we are running late we will text and reset the clock so to speak. All this does in it’s own way, celebrate the written word and it points out that that writing is still important, although I would argue that most of these devices are more of a conversation than writing. Another friend who teaches high school told me that auto correct is killing us though and that many teens don’t bother with punctuation or capitalization. That is where we still need to recognize what is informal communication and what is formal.

My favorite idea to come out of the night was a moment talking about how texts can be a form of courting, but I do think that often women view texting different than men. Alie Ward brought up the idea of what would F Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda’s texts look like as well as the idea that Emily Dickinson would probably be on Tumblr and she’d be soooo Emo, which does bring interesting ideas and a smile to my face.

Overall, I was shocked that I was one of the few in the audience on many social networking sites. It tells me it has become an interest of mine in how we communicate and how technology is changing things yet solid writing and writing well still is important. In a time where we are inundated with more information more than ever, what we choose as our media diet and our news feed is important- be it our friends or our current event content. _______________________ _________________________________

Hear me on Hear in the City

Excited about my opportunity to share the Nethercutt Collection with my friend, Sara Harris's show, Hear in the City.
Check out my talk with Sara on today's show, 3:30 pm Pacific on KPFK

http://www.kpfk.org/listen-live.html _______________________ _________________________________

Covers: Baby It's Cold Outside

Someone was singing this in the breakroom at work and I began to wonder how many covers of this song are out there and here's a few...
My first memory of hearing this song was actually from the show Boston Common where Anthony Clark's character sang with with Shelly Long, but the webs didn't come through with that tv classic.

Here's one of my favs:








And then there is this one:
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What are you doing New Year's Eve-Can't stop the feet!

 

Don't know if I will be dancing on New Year's but I would love to-love to celebrate life, moving, and being with friends as well a new starts!

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TEDxWomen

Yesterday was a great day filled with many women and many things to embrace. A friend joked that my blog post was shorter than any of my tweets for the day. I was busy as a volunteer and was challenged while working to make
those TED connections but the overall message was about partnerships, mentorships and communication.  TEDxWomen was also about interesting women doing interesting things and being influenced by their mothers and grandmothers to do and take risks no matter what-even if it's the hard way.

I participated in a talkback or break out session and learned more about Domestic Violence that I ever had in the past as this is a subject that, like many others, don’t want to hear about or put on the table. Chrysalis CEO Patricia Klahr was amazing.  In a time of trouble for non profits, I can see why Chrystalis is doing so well and it has a lot to do with the dynamic speaking of it’s CEO. She was the first to talk about the importance of mentorship and volunteerism.  Verizon is a big supporter as this is one of the causes the corporation supports.  Facts that came to light was that one in three women are touched by domestic abuse and that Arizona is number 2 of the fifty states of deaths due to domestic violence and that Scottsdale is the highest in the nation.  In recognizing that domestic abuse is more than physical, the Chrystalis shelter is also progressive in that the new facility is now taking in male victims, where Patricia says that both sexes find strength through each other in the program.  Many questions focused on symptoms or signs and it was more about the idea that we need to reach out to those we think may be in trouble and say something.

I felt so lucky yesterday to be where I am in time and space (2011 America). After hearing female journalists Shahira Amin and Gayle Tzemach Lemmon.  THey talked and featured stories of lady entrepreneurs and those stepping out into polictics-odd that women are half the population yet the numbers in business and government do not reflect this. The talks also reminded me of a conversation ten years ago where earlier female artists couldn’t understand why my generation in not wanting to be identified as feminist -that I was seeing myself not as a woman but as an artist, but to me that is progress.

Another message that ran through was the idea of girls and women learning how to advocate for themselves and to teach girls how to recognize healthy relationships. This idea which seems to be something that can happen at any point in our lives.  Jane Fonda also moderated a panel titled ReBirth and it was educational and inspirational to think about what the third act in life means-to keep moving, learning and staying active.  One fact thrown out is that we are living almost 30 years longer than her great-great-grandparents and we should take that information and start asking what does that mean.

The last panel theme of ReImagine was the reason why I volunteered in the first place.  I heard from two ladies from HomeGirl Cafe who demonstrated that with resilience anyone can change their life around.  I saw the three winners of the google science fair that all happened to be female.  I heard from Shamila Kohestani, a woman who craved education and a chance to move and in so doing became the captain of the first women’s Afgahn National Soccer Team.
If today is any indication of what's to come the future looks very promising I'm very optimistic. _______________________ _________________________________

TEDx Women

All day its been very interesting. Checkout the tweets _______________________ _________________________________

#30 Day PhotoChallenge--Remember November last of the trilogy

I have fallen in love with my new camera-the IPhone4S.  It’s taken me into the 21st century and the pictures I am able to document are unbelievable.
So here goes the rundown:
Had a night in the PJs again with my homemade stew and a little bourbon and coke
Went to trivia and hit up the taco truck before Thanksgiving but the truck ran outta food
Thanksgiving at Scott’s aka @InkGigolo with @LadyDucayne mole new fav for T-dinner
Sat with my fav coworker at the end of Black Friday on the patios in Awesometown
started the day with brunch that made me homesick for Savannah
I got a tree
Had a dark day and so featured Bo not Beau-short for Boeing
Came home to a wonderful sunset and a beautiful winter night _______________________ _________________________________